It's been a while.

Okay so 2013 has been a trying year. It's December right now and i would like to express myself to those of you out there who are hurting/ are in pain. There's a point where you think can my life get any worse? I came to breaking point when i tried and seriously thought about committing suicide, i really didn't want to write that on the internet because it is pretty personal but maybe i can comfort someone as well. I've lost people close to me this year and i do feel like my heart has basically been ripped out of my chest. Betrayal, deceit and lies have been the result of my crappy state and without knowing it for a long time i was bottling up my feelings and i dealt with stress by running away and i was slowly using alcohol and nights out to help me feel better and forget. In the end i can tell you it didn't work, being rejected by those that i thought loved me made me feel like i was in despair. I cannot lie and say it will be easy when you're in this hole of sadness,insecurity and hurt. You are left with questions such as 'What did i do to deserve this'? 'Why me God'? Well the fact is we will never know the answers to why people mistreat us but all we can do is keep living. Dying isn't a choice, these trials are a training for you to develop your character. You can either make it or break. I don't want to give up and i urge you not to either because as everyday comes you have to decide you want to be happy even if each day seems like a drag, you have to push yourself. God is the only way i have got through this and my family and friends. You have to make your mind up where you want to be in life. I know what it feels like to want to go back somewhere that felt so good or to someone that made you feel good but in the end you've been left to pick up the pieces. You trusted someone and they broke that trust and you feel like you'll never trust someone, you know what it is a learning curve. Your situation shouldn't define you but rather whatever you can do to make it something that will be of the past, do it. You can cry and let it out but please don't let your whole life be mourning. My heart cries out to those in a similar situation to me and anyone who is genuinely hurting and has no clue or have anybody who will make them feel better. Living in the past is easy when your mind attacks you with thoughts that aren't true, negative thoughts that pull you down. The best person who has been near and dear to me has been the Holy Spirit, if you are reading this and don't believe in God...you should find out about his person and give him a chance. Everything that concerns you he cares about and all i can say is all the best in all you do, keep dreaming..big dreams that will propel you to higher heights so you can really enjoy your life regardless of the situations that may be surrounding you..with God anything is possible.

Love,Caroline xx

another one

I would like to take away the habit of chewing gum, it's unprofessional.

If i keep chewing it , i'll get so used to it so much so when i am in an office environment or in any environment that may be formal ..i would chew it...which i don't think is acceptable.

miscellaneous

[having manners or being polite does not hurt.]

1. I don't mean to be old fashioned but its really appalling when i hear a people say 'what' instead of pardon..especially ladies. The other day this proper scally women was speaking to this old man who is a lollipop man and was speaking to her she goes what...like come on..wheres your respect -__-

2. When i go into a shop i expect you to look like you are bothered about me, as a customer. Like don't be chilling on the counter not facing me. Some people need to train their staff tbh.

3. Bus drivers that drive past school kids when there is clearly space on the bus, that's just cruel.

--> a digression , so i am off to University next week. Bring on higher education.

want list

^ shoes like this - source: love aesthetics blog

Matalan -Metal toe cap court shoe

platform flips flops - LOVE THESE BABIESSS

Monki - Diana Jeans

AA - Unitard

J Crew - Pave link Bracelet

Monki - Blossom Jumpsuit

AA - Easy jean

Monki - Brenda knit

lace socks

Bvlgari - Jasmin Noir

J Crew - Silk Cami

Acne

oxfords

brics coat

aa easy jean

Acne - Black Comet

^

'tribal print'?

I don't know why they call the prints normally found on african traditional garments 'tribal' prints always wondered..sounds kind of uncivilized if you ask me ... what is tribal about them lol.

but anyways heres what some of you may refer to as 'tribal print' to me it's just traditional dress..[well top]

Made in Ghana [My mums top] *shrugs*

It is so beautiful, the people who make these prints are so creative!

Bits&Bobs

Lilac Leggings £3 @ Primark

Primark eyelashes!! £1 !!! :D I WAS SO HAPPY TO GET THESE, I'M GOING TO BUY LIKE 10 PAIRS =]]]

Dress £12.50 @ Asos [it was on sale^_^)

I am really feeling midi dresses, i think they really complement my figure, as the curvy lady that I am :)

(Back of dress)

I am so very happy with my purchuses! Primark has really got it going on, i went in there today and i really want to go back and get this pastel lilac body con dress, it's beautiful! 

Boys boys boys - Sabrina